How can I let him touch me?

Did I let him? I remember times when I did. I remember when I begged him for it.
And even if he could look past all of that, how could we ever have anything normal, physically, between us?
The idea of an intimate touch makes my skin crawl. The idea of a knife in the gut makes me feel things I don't even want to admit to myself.
The...tortures I experienced...the way he made me feel about the things he did...I don't think there's any coming back from something like that.
After the memories that came back to me in my dreams last night, I don't know if I'm more afraid of fighting the demon/s or facing Daniel if we both survive.
It's funny how one night can change things.
Maybe I was hasty.